Cats With Saddlebags? Why Not?

Originally posted 1/6/11

I adore my cats, but they are so … lazy.  Seriously, how many hours of shut-eye do these nap-happy felines need? I sometimes think about how much I’d enjoy their company even more if they could make more practical contributions to the household.  After all, they are domesticated, right?

• You know that cute little kneading they do with their paws when they are purring?  How about kneading me up some fresh bread? Of course I’d require that they wear custom-fitted plastic gloves…and perhaps a whisker net.

• I could fit my cats with adorable, yet functional saddlebags.  They could retrieve the mail, bring me the remote control, or even fetch me a piece of the delicious homemade bread.

• Their paws are certainly small enough to swipe-clean those hard-to-reach areas underneath the stove and refrigerator. 

• Great mouse-hunting skills?  Round up my lost car keys and then we’ll talk.

• Their excellent climbing skills and ability to squeeze into small places make them the perfect candidates for maneuvering through the boxes in the crawl space and retrieving the tubs of Christmas decorations.

• Since they don’t mind putrid smells, how about changing a diaper or two or disposing of that 6-week old Indian food in the back of the fridge?

See…there are a plethora of prospects for these lackadaisical loaves, if only they were willing participants.  Until then, I shall retrieve my own mail, drag out my own holiday décor, and maybe even learn to make homemade bread (or not). 

Saffy wants to help Mama. Really she does.