Tape: A Cautionary Tale

Caution tape is such an interesting item. It's meant to alert people to a potentially dangerous situation, although sometimes it's used for decoration or as a joke. I was just thinking that I might like to carry a roll of caution tape in my purse -- I can imagine a variety of reasons why I would use a strip of that tell-tale yellow warning-ness.

• I would wear it like a Miss America sash on days when I'm wearing my crabby pants and want to be left alone.

• I would lay a piece of it across poor little Phoebe at night so Cosmo would let-up on the midnight booty calls. (He is neutered, by the way...he just tries to enjoy a little phantom-fornication while everyone else is trying to sleep).

• I would place a small strip of it on the dish containing the last piece of cake. It's mine!

• I would hang caution tape over my teenage son's tennis shoes...simply to remind myself to steer clear of those malodorous beasts.

• I would stretch a piece in front of me for those instances when "close-talkers" try to invade my personal bubble. If that didn't work, I would use the tape to strangle said "close-talker."

See? There are all sorts of practical uses for caution tape -- the ones above are just a start!  Now that I'm thinking about it, I wonder if I could buy it by the case...