More Absurd Methods for Self-Amusement, By Angie

Words are funny; sometimes the sound of a word will send me into fits of uncontrollable giggling, a la Beavis and Butthead. I try to use these words whenever possible... not to impress others with my obscure use of the English vernacular (vernacular...he, he, he...), but simply to entertain myself. Here's a few of the words that never fail to amuse me. Some may not appear so humorous in print, but say them out loud in a sentence -- you're certain to crack a smile or at least garner curious looks and polite head nods from your friends.

Scapula: I'm up to my scapula in paperwork!

Titillate: I am oddly titillated by this episode of Who's the Boss.

Ambrosia: Marge, this Hamburger Helper is pure ambrosia!

Scurvy: Eat your orange slices, kids...don't want anyone around here gettin' the scurvy! You remember what happened to the school bus driver, old Mr. Spongy Gums McGee...

Slovenly: Will you please wipe that orange pulp off your face -- you look perfectly slovenly! And hurry up... the bus will be here in five minutes and old Mr. Spongy Gums McGee won't wait for anybody!

Chafe: I felt especially chafed by that comment Mildred made about my meatloaf.

Now, I shall indubitably delight myself by using the above words together in a sentence.

I'm usually titillated by Betty's visits, but she chafed me to no end when she showed up at my front door, smelling less like ambrosia and more like burnt toast, looking slovenly, pulling up her shirt to expose the scurvy spots on her scapula.

He, he, he...