Cat Drool Problem Solved - Lickity Spit!

Cosmo is a cat that drools when he is happy; as soon as the purr engine begins revving, the drool switch is flipped. I recently read an online article which explained that when cats are happy, their jaws relax and then the slobber drizzles over their little kitty lips. Most times I don't mind, but sometimes the spittle shower can be downright annoying. I often grab a tissue or paper towel when I hold him - a burp rag of sorts. That way, when the waterfall of warm liquid begins dribbling, I can sop his fuzzy mouth. The biggest bother is when he snuggles under our covers for the night and begins to salivate, creating a drool lagoon on the sheets. This is a sloppy surprise for anyone rolling over or changing positions (which happens frequently). As much as I adore Cosmo, it's impossible to drift back into peaceful slumber with cat-spit-soaked jammies. I decided there must be a way to harvest the spittle and use it for good. There must be a way to collect it in a bucket and then recycle it for something useful. After all, aren't we all supposed to be green these days? Why should perfectly good cat spit go to waste? Here are some of the ways I think I could make good use of Cosmo's mouth droplets.

• Cats are spotless animals and clean themselves several times a day. There must be some sort of magical cleaning quality to their spit. What if I funneled some of it into a spray bottle and used it to clean countertops?
  
• Kitties maintain gorgeous coats with nothing more than a good old-fashioned tongue bath. I can only imagine the luxurious locks that await me after I shampoo with Salon Selectives - Spittle Formula.
• This liquid also seems to have a lubricating quality. Certainly it could be sprayed into squeaky hinges.
  
• Speaking of its slick characteristics, cat spit would make a fine cooking spray. Watch your muffins pop right out of the pan!
• Eye make up remover? It's all natural!
• Toss those tubes of antibiotic ointment. If cat saliva can clean a newborn kitten, it can undoubtedly disinfect your child's skinned knee.

With an all purpose product like this, I have nothing but great expectorations.